LOVE LOVE LOVE

I learned about this group a little over a year ago, The Rogue Traders. They are from Australia and they are AMAZING!!! Well, I had kind of forgotten about them. And since I am in the US, I didn't know that they had a new album out. Well, I am in love with this new song!!!Seriously! The beat, the words, everything about it I love. It is called What You're On. I have been listening to it non-stop all week!!

The fuckers have the embedding code disabled... go here to listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kru4kOeSzQ&feature=related

Update

I know that I have been very distant from everyone. I am sorry. But, I just don't feel like myself lately. I am really struggling with everything in my world right now. I randomly burst into tears without any notice... have been drinking more then normal... and partaking in activities that are not at all like me. I am seeing now how I am dealing with my stress all wrong. And I know that I said I would go talk to someone and I still have not done so. But I plan on it very soon. After the weekend I had, it is very obvious that I need it.

For those that don't know. Scott is back in the hospital. He started throwing up Sunday and could not stop. They said that his intestines have telescoped... which means they have folded over each other like how a telescope folds down. Well, yesterday he said that he was feeling better and that the doctors believed that it would correct itself. If not, they will have to open him up again to correct it. Then, he calls today and says that he now also has pneumonia and has begun throwing up again. He is not in good spirits right now... and is not taking my calls. Says he wants to be alone. I understand, but it hurts me so much. I want nothing more then to be able to be there with him. I still can not believe that this is all happening...

To the Moon and Back

Lyrics

My mom, sister and I always say "To the moon and back" as a way of saying I love you. Well, I found this song. Find it quite interesting. I can relate to it in a way. But I also know that my mother can also relate to it for different reasons. I am sending her the lyrics today... along with other songs about the moon. Her and her pen pal write "Full Moon Fantasy" letters to each other every month. So, if yall know of other songs about the moon, or fantasy... let me know!

The #1 Twerp

I love my teddybear.

Los Angeles Haggin Day One

Melissa and I arrived in Los Angeles around 4:30 pm. Ollie met us at the baggage claim! We were soooo excited to see her!!! We got our bags and headed to the hotel. The traffic was HORRIBLE. So, it took us about an hour to get there. But once we got there, it was time to get ready for the art opening!!!

So, off to the show we went. James met us outside, all excited to see us. He really made my day when he noticed that I highlighted my hair!!! He told me that I looked like Marsha Brady tho... haha. Anyways, so he got us in. There were not really that many people there when we first got there. But we were just so happy to BE there that it didn't matter. This is what we walked into!!! YAY!!

We got our drinks and then we walked around and looked at the art. We found one that looked just like our Liam!!!!

Then it was picture time! I love these girlies so so much!!



And of course we got to meet some peeps we have seen and talked to over the net!! First of all, beautiful Lenora. She is so much more stunning in person. her skin is like porcelain. She is so sweet too. OMG, just so nice!!

And I met Debbie Rotkowitz. She took the Sarahan pictures that we have all seen of James. She has also shot Clint Catalyst and Daniel Franzese plus many more. She is a total sweetheart.

We also met Tharin, Randy, and of course.... Steven Corfe!!! Melissa was in HEAVEN! But, I would say that the highlight of the first night was when Mike Boogie came into the gallery. Mike Boogie was on Big Brother 2 and he was also the winner of Big Brother All Stars. So, OK. I see him. I turn to Melissa and say, hey... that guy looks like Mike Boogie. Melissa says, OMG that is Mike Boogie!!! She then, with no warning screams "BOOOOOOOOGGGIIIEEEE"! The whole gallery pauses with silence... and then here comes James running with his Freak Show mic to interview him. And you can see the rest on the Daily Freak Show. After the show we went and ate burgers at Lucky Devils. They were YUMMY! Then back to the hotel for nighty night time. It was an amazing night!!

Los Angeles Haggin Day Two

Day two started with us going to pick up James and his box of goodies for us to go through. We really didn't have to many things planned for the day. Melissa wanted to go to The Viper Room where River Phoenix died.

Here is where he took his last breath.... James and Melissa reinacted it for us.

We knew that we wanted to go to Crumbs for cupcakes though... but we were informed that Sprinkles really does make a better cupcake... so off to Sprinkles we went.

After our day of running around, we went back to the hotel to get ready for the True Colors show. I was pumped!! So fricken excited to see the B-52's! I mean, Cyndi too, but I love love love the B-52's!!! Here we are, ready to gooooo!!!


The concert was AMAZING!!! James and Michael Luccid came with us. We had a BLAST! Melissa even got a little tipsy!! When we got there, Andy Bell was singing. He did a great job. Then Wanda Sykes did some comedy. Then the B-52's came out!! OMG, they were amazing. I can't even explain. Rock Lobster was the last song they did. I totally went nuts when it started. It was AMAZING!!! Cyndi also did an amazing job. Her sister was there with her playing guitar. It was lots of fun!!! But then poor Ollie got sick on the way home. I felt so bad for her. But once she got a little food in her and got some sleep, she felt better.

Los Angeles Haggin Day Three

So, on day three we were invited to go on a Death Tour of L.A. with James on a Daily Freak Show! YAY!

First on the list is a cemetery that is literally hidden between a bunch of buildings! You never would have known it was there!!! First we found Carol Ann!!! Go to the light!!!!

Then on to Marilyn Monroe...

We walked around the cemetery and filmed and found graves. I don't want to say to much, because it will soon be on the Daily Freak Show. But I will tell you all about Melissa stopped a funeral. LOL. When we were about to leave, there was a funeral taking place. James told us about our next destination. Well, Melissa screams, YAY OMG! The funeral stops. We all just look at each other and decide it is time to go. I swear, we can't bring her anywhere. LOL. We also went to the Roosevelt Hotel where the ghost of Marilyn is rumored to appear in a mirror... but we also got kicked out. Haha. Then our day of filming came to an end. I have a feeling I will not be in much of the footage. Most of the time, I had no clue what he was talking about, except when it came to Divine!! So, YAY! Stay tuned for the next Daily Freak Show!!!

We also went out to dinner that night. I wanted sushi, so we went to a place called Kabuki. Great name, right? YAY. And on the way, we found Michael Jackson's star!

And, here we are waiting for James and our food!

Los Angeles Haggin Day Four

Day four was officially labeled Steven Corfe day. YAY! Melissa had been waiting for this day the whole trip! Here we are walking to Mel's Diner to eat!

Melissa found the Journey star!! Don't stop believin!!!!

And here we are chillin like villains...


After lunch we went back to the WOW building for our tour!! First stop was the basement where all the goodies are stored!!! James gave us the history of the building. The basement used to be a punk rock club and there is all kinds of crazy cool graffiti down there!! We then got to go through the boxes of Party Monster outfits from the movie! OMG!!!!! Here we are playing dress up!! WOOTS! La La...


Next stop... off to meet Joey and Tom! YAY! And of course, by this point I am sweaty and gross from playing in the basement. Just my luck, meeting the two straight cuties of WOW and I am a sweat monster. Typical!

We also met Lydia and Cooper.

And of course, Melissa almost got us kicked out!!

We also got to go through James' box of pictures and goodies with stories. It was sooo much fun. A great way to end the trip.

Los Angeles Haggin Day Five

Time to go home. I didn't want to leave. Los Angeles was not what I expected. I thought it would be "plastic". But, there were so many nice and interesting people there. I can not wait to go back. Which I am hoping to do so in November. But, we shall see. It wasn't the same without Shelly. But something tells me we will never get her out there! Ollie brought us to the airport.

We found the cutest boy at LAX, and here is his ass!!!

And here we are on the plane... leaving a wonderful city and wonderful people. It was an amazing trip!

Life's Hurdles

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. It started off with drama between my mother and my grandmother. I love both of these women dearly. And my Nana does not want me to be stuck in the middle of their argument... but when it comes to my mother, I have no choice. I feel like when she calls, I have to answer. I feel like many times, I can not tell her what I really think because I do not want to upset her or hurt fer feelings. I believe that I am the only one that she really trusts. And that hurts me, because I am not honest with her most of the times. But I am scared of upsetting her and I don't want her to feel alone in this world. I could go on and on about this subject... but I will not. It only upsets me, and there are thoughts in my head that should stay there.

Wednesday my father got into another motorcycle accident. He blacked out and went in the ditch. He states that he felt fine all day and had no warning that he was about to pass out. He was about to turn into the driveway, turned his blinker on. Then the next thing he knew, he woke up in the ditch not knowing where he was or what had happened. When the EMT's got there, of course, he refused to go to the hospital. So, he went to the doctor today. They thought that he may have passed out because of his pace maker, but that was not the case. They do not really know what happened. But, they think that his blood pressure may have dropped. My father has low blood pressure to begin with because of the medication he takes for his heart failure. So, they have decided to cut back on some of his medications. He has to monitor his blood pressure daily and is not allowed to drive. He is thinking of selling his motorcycle. I think that it is a good idea that he not ride anymore... but that is hard for me to say. That is my dad's life, motorcycles. That is what he does everyday! I just can't imagine him not on a bike. And I know that he feels the same way. But, he needs to do what is best. He was just in a wreck two months ago. He has been very lucky both times with no serious injuries... the next time may not be the same outcome. But, I really believe that he has a guardian angel.

Also today Scott had his appointment with his oncologist. Not good news at all. He has stage IV melanoma. Which, is what I feared. They can not do surgery. The tumor in his lung is to close to his heart and they can not take the risk to do surgery. All they can really do at this point is to try to slow the growth and possibly try to shrink the tumors. But as far as curing the cancer, they can not. He still can not eat. He throws up everyday. They do not know why. He is in a lot of pain. They have given him very strong pain meds. I am trying my best to get out there next month. I need to see him. I am so scared for him. I talked to him a little bit ago, and he does not sound well at all. And how could he? I can not imagine what he is thinking right now. He pretty much feels like his life is over. I can not imagine this world without him. He is my best friend. He knows me inside and out. No one will ever understand me the way that Scott does. I am just so scared. I have to stop now... I am getting all upset again.

On to Better Things

TICKETS GO ON SALE TOMORROW!!!! Melissa, Charlotte... you girls betta get ready!! YAY!!! Woooooo. I don't care that most people think we are idiots. We are gonna have FUN FUN FUN!!!!

New song/video.... they are still cute! YAY!

Sums it up...

Lyrics:
(I realize)
All I want
All I need
Always lies just out of reach
I've been coming up empty

(I realize)
I ran as fast as I can run
I pushed as hard as anyone
But still there's nothing for me

(And I want)
I've tried as hard as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am running a race
Against myself
Against myself, yeah

(I realize)
Burning out, strung along
Now my sorrow is my song
My whole world is half-hearted

(I realize)
For my pain I have none
After all is said and done
Now I'm back where I started

(And I want)
I've gone as far as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am running a race
Against myself
Against myself, yeah

(And I want)
I've tried as hard as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am losing the race
Against myself
Against myself, yeah

Huh?

OMG... I am so confused...



I don't get it... I don't know what to think... what are you doing to me??????

Boys suck....

Why......

...was I not born a gay man? WHY?



That is just to yummy for words....